I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
