Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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