you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
