i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
