he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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