Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
