I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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