he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
