Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
