I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
