THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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