I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A bitchslap is in order.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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