they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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