My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
