16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
