That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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