i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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