Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
