They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize