More tranny stories later!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
