Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
