hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
