I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
