I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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