ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
