So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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