Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
