my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
