you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
