I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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