Sry I called you an 8
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
