I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She swung at the pinata with crutches
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
