if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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