I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
