Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
