If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
