im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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