Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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