Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
