He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
