It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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