My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize