oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My penis needs a shock collar
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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