I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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