If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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