I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
