look no pants
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
