last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
