Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
