we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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