I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
