i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
