When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
