You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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