if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
