I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize