there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
