You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
