Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he puts the penis in happiness.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
