It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
