Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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