Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
