its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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