I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
