wanna go halves on a baby?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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