we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
