Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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