I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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