Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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