somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
