I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
