Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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