i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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