i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
