i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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