Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
