In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
