If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize