I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
