Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
